If you want to know my super power. I just finished my shampoo and conditioner at the same time.
— Book of Taskmaster (@BookOfTM) February 4, 2024
isn't it great how basically everyone agrees that car headlights are way too bright now but nothing is done about it https://t.co/fLX7dX0YRi
— lumberjack wharfie (@lumbjackwharfie) February 3, 2024
I would feel more comfortable if it couldn't walk. pic.twitter.com/D0kkzxPKXC
— Martin Pilgrim (@MartinPilgrim1) February 4, 2024
“I hope this email finds you before I do” https://t.co/6lpaaFBuoZ
— Jenni (@hashjenni) February 6, 2024
The FIA needs to exclude the cost of paint from the budget cap.
— The Artist Formerly Known As EngineMode11 (@EngineMode11) February 7, 2024
If it's a weight issue then why don't the teams use light colours?
— WimboFormula! (@Formula1Wimbo) February 7, 2024
Light blue, light pink, light green. https://t.co/GLi4SirYcr
Asked by a New York Times reporter why he wanted to scale Mount Coathanger, George Meowery uttered the immortal words "because it’s there." pic.twitter.com/uaSddqGawn
— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) August 9, 2022
Started amusing myself in work meetings by adding "No pun intended" after comments I make with absolutely no pun or double meaning in them, then spend the next five minutes watching people's faces as they are clearly trying to work out what the "pun" was
— Fesshole (@fesshole) February 8, 2024
“A watch, especially a finely crafted one, often signifies status and achievement.” pic.twitter.com/insvThain6
— Chris Fallsikkan (@AlsikkanTV) February 8, 2024
Best Extra https://t.co/bkZa8xF8Gl pic.twitter.com/vhlISFKS7n
— Tom Reagan’s Hat (@RufusTSuperfly) February 8, 2024
He's going to be absolutely furious when he finds out who's responsible for this https://t.co/pPwiJDsakF
— Adam Bienkov (@AdamBienkov) February 9, 2024
Sally Nugent: Am I right in thinking the budget for NHS dentistry has dropped by £500m since 2014
— Haggis_UK 🇬🇧 🇪🇺 (@Haggis_UK) February 7, 2024
Victoria Atkins: Our budget is £3b
SN: Is the budget lower than it was… additional after a budget cut… it's not Labour asking you these questions, it's me#BBCBreakfast pic.twitter.com/HdzdPUJ4Hz
And then people say cats are not loyal pic.twitter.com/JkGh9vOGPj
— Why you should have a cat (@ShouldHaveCat) February 9, 2024
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?